Today I said goodbye to my Mam-maw

  I am so thankful that the Lord worked it out for me to go to Michigan to see my Mam-maw. Her health has been declining for a little time now and when she fell shortly before Christmas, she started feeling much worse. Hospice has been called in. Even though I know I will see her again in heaven, it still breaks my heart to know that we will have to say goodbye to her here on this earth.

As I walked into the house and went to the bedroom, things were quite different. Normally there was a queen bed in the small room her and Pap-paw used to share. Instead there was a hospital bed and a nightstand next to it full of medical supplies. When I walked in Mam-maw was so happy to see me. She was very weak and frail- looking in her bed, but her smile made me feel right at home as usual and always very loved. She was so glad I was there and I was so glad to be there.

 I spent the next 5 days trying to be a blessing in whatever way I could but in return, I was the one that was blessed by being there. I shared moments with Mam-maw where she would ask me to read from the Bible. Whenever I would read a passage she would have me write it down so she could read it again later. She would also have me sing hymns to her. The one she had me singing the most was "The Sweet By and By".  Have you listened to the words of that song lately? It was quite hard to get through but yet comforting at the same time.

Mam-maw knows she's not doing well. She felt bad that we had to take care of her.  One day she told me "I've had a good life. I've had a good church and I've always wanted to go. I've had a wonderful family and good neighbors."

It's amazing how often she talked about church. She talked about the church she grew up in as a little girl, Carr's Branch Baptist church. She also talked about the church she got saved in at a Revival meeting, Little Baron Baptist church. She talked about her church,  Frenchtown Missionary Baptist Church where she's been a member for 61 years. She talked about visiting Winkler Road Baptist Church and then she talked about visiting my church, Victory Springs Independent Baptist Church, and talked about how she was there for opening day and for several of the Anniversary services. I heard her tell several people over those few days to stay in church. It is her passion, you can tell. She loved serving the Lord in church! We all take that so easily for granted.

I was also able to see my mom and my aunt Robin care for Mam-maw tirelessly and lovingly.  It's amazing all that they are doing but with such compassion and love for their mother.  But I know it's because Mam-maw is reaping what she has sown for so many years. She has always been a caregiver to anyone that comes her way, whether it be to feed them a meal or to comfort in any way.  She has been there for so many people.

As I left this morning it was very hard. Very, very hard. First I looked around the old farmhouse where I had so many memories of my childhood. I remember Mam-maw babysitting me and rocking me.  I remember watching adults sit around snapping beans and talking. There's so much laughter that has been shared in those walls.  There are so many memories around the dining room table as we squished in as many people as we could. I remember sleeping upstairs where there's two bedrooms that are joined together so it's really four beds all together. I remember as a kid thinking it was a big slumber party as our uncles told us scary stories before bedtime . I thought of all the sounds heard in that home, for instance the creaking stairs or the way the furnace comes on and how you can hear it throughout the whole house. But laughter is what I really remember the most.

She taught me that moments together are so important. She taught me that it's a treasure to just "sit and talk." She always took time to stop, look you in the eye and make you feel loved.

Then I said goodbye to Mammaw this morning as I left to go to the airport.  I hugged her tight and noticed my tears fell on her cheeks. I told her that she is the best Mammaw ever and that I love her so much. I can still hear her say, " I love you." I don't ever want to forget. 

So I may have said Goodbye. But really it's just a see you later. I'm so thankful for the hope of heaven and that goodbyes aren't permanent.  One day we will laugh together again. What a day that will be!

There's a land that is fairer than day
And by faith we can see it afar
For the Father waits over the way
To prepare us a dwelling place there

In the sweet by and by
We shall meet on that beautiful shore
In the sweet by and by
We shall meet on that beautiful shore