Heart of the Matter~Considering our Husbands

On my wedding day, filled with young-naivety, I thought Patrick and I would be one of those couples that would never have a disagreement or misunderstanding. And surely we would never fight! The day following our wedding I had a little “wake up call.” We were in our hotel room waking up to the smiling faces of one another and so happy to be in love and finally married. Our conversation went something like this:

Me: Good morning my gorgeous husband! (happy emphasis on the husband part!) What
would we like to do today?

Patrick: Good morning my wife. (another smile) Well, the first thing is that I’m going to run downstairs and take off all the writing off of our car.

Me: The writing? You mean you’re going to remove all the words that say sweet stuff like “Happily Married?”

Patrick: Yes

Me: Why in the world would you do that? Are you not happy to be married to me?

Patrick: Of course I am!

Me: I thought we would leave this on for weeks so we could tell the world we’re married!


Oh boy! This ended up being a fun conversation with a few tears from a silly misunderstanding. Instead of sweetly realizing I had married a man who wanted to take care of the paint job on our new to us car, I assumed all the wrong things, said all the wrong things, and our first disagreement took place. I never stopped and considered that our paint job on our car could be ruined by leaving all that writing on for too long. Now I look back on it and laugh! Removing the paint first thing is soooo much Patrick. By removing the writing and taking care of our car, he was focused on taking care of his wife, and this was his first act of husbandhood! I should be glad he didn’t do it the night before! :o)

Misunderstandings sure do happen quickly with our husbands, don’t they? They are the ones we love the most, make the most decisions with and share our hopes and dreams with. Yet, it’s easy to not always see eye-to-eye. It’s so easy for our hearts to just react and not stop and consider.
I love the verse in Proverbs 14, verse 29 that says, “He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly.” It’s easy to be hasty when we interact
with our man. Our countenance and words reveal that. It’s time I truly focus on Considering him! Remembering and considering some things beforehand will help me with that goal. Here are some questions to ask yourself to help you to stop and consider when dealing with your husband:

~Am I overreacting? (Did you notice that was first on last week’s list also?)

~Is it possible he’s just having a bad day? (We all have them. I’m sure he’s thankful when I’m patient with him when nothing seems to quite work out.)

~Is he just being a “man”? (Men think and handle problems differently than women. Men look at problems in view of fixing them, so when we come to our man just wanting to talk about things, he takes it as, “She wants me to fix this for her and give her all the answers.” He is looking to be the hero of our problems!)

~Is it possible I’m just having a bad day? (Me? Yes, I have some of them, too! Sometimes if I’m just emotional or a bit frazzled, I jump to conclusions.)

~Is this the worse thing in the world? (Sometimes we have “disagreements” over things that don’t even matter!)

~Is this a legitimate concern my husband wants me to address and look after?

~Can I respond in a way to help him to not react harshly? (A soft answer turneth away wrath…how we respond to situations and problems helps our husbands in responding well.)

~Does he just need a little extra attention from me?

~Have I put myself in his shoes? (A man goes through troubles and stress that are different than ours. It’s easy to not take the time to understand him or be sensitive to what he is going through.)

~Does he just need me to wink at him and help him forget all his troubles?

I sure do want my husband to feel like the King of his castle….I like feeling like the queen in return! When I consider some things concerning my husband and when I don’t react in a hasty manner, our day goes much more smoothly…and a little more romantic, too!