Thursday, April 27, 2017
So, as they came in I said "Hey" but kept on preparing snacks for the night. I noticed when Brenna saw Tabitha she gave her a huge hug. They smiled at me funny, but I kept on preparing the food. Then, about 15 minutes after arriving Joshua cleared his throat for me to look at him. When I turned around he smiled. Tabitha smiled. Then, I finally noticed her "Mama Bear" shirt. AAAGH!!! I'm going to be a Grandmother!!!!
Tuesday, April 25, 2017
It was a little over two years ago, that I heard a message that changed my outlook on my healing. After battling sickness for over a year (at that time) it was a message I needed to hear.
It was a few weeks before we had started VSIBC, so we were visiting a church in another town. The preacher talked about "What is your aim in prayer?" Is it to get my way? I confess. Sometimes when I had prayed, I gave the Lord "ideas" of how things could go. Especially when it came to my illness. I would pray, "Lord, let the doctor discover something on this visit. Let it be an easy fix." And I would always end the prayer with "Please, God, heal me!" Is there anything wrong with healing? Oh, my, no! Is there anything wrong with consistently and persistently bringing our requests to the Lord? Another, Oh, my, no!
But, it was during that sermon that I realized I was living for healing, instead of living in the midst of what God had for me. I didn't have "Not my will, but thine" prayer attitude like Jesus did. The preacher that night said, "If we never surrender our will, our prayer life will be frustrating." I realized that night that God may never heal me. But, He can use me right where He has me! That night I surrendered the things I couldn't fix and change: my illness. I surrendered it to the will of God. I told God that I would quit begging Him for healing and trust that He knows what's best for me.
Since then, I haven't been healed. I lived in days where I didn't feel well. And I had days I didn't feel great, but was able to accomplish much. There is so much joy in surrender and trusting God knows what is best!
Well, for the past couple of weeks I have felt worse. My health is spiraling downward as the pressure and pain in my chest have become difficult to bear. I have a great doctor team that I called and they saw me the next day. They decided to reevaluate and redo many of the imaging and labs that I've had in the past. As I was scheduled for different test, I had the reminder of being completely out of control for the outcome.
Then, yesterday morning I sat down to have my devotions. I was reading in Exodus. I came to chapter 14, verse 14:
"The LORD shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace."
It was then that I realized, once again, that I knew God holds me in His hands. And there truly is no better place to be. What peace He gives!! And He sure does a much better job at fighting my battles than I do!
Then, I read chapter 15, at the end of verse 26:
"...for I am the LORD that healeth thee."
It was then, that I felt the Holy Spirit telling me, "It's okay to pray again Kami" So, I did. I asked once again for God to heal me. But, in my prayer, I knew that even if He chose not to, He is still a good God that loves me beyond measure!
So, for now, we wait for results. The recent tests have shown a new image that needs to be looked at. It's off to a new Cardiologist for me. But, in the midst, God is ever faithful. Always right there with me. It's a joy to serve Jesus!
Monday, April 24, 2017
Months ago, while visiting the beautiful O'Leno State Park, Brenna found the Rec Hall and wanted to have her graduation there. It was very booked up, but the date, April 22nd was open, so we snagged it! It's such a beautiful log cabin. Very rustic, with lots of character. Very Brenna!
Brenna set up her memory table with her favorites. Green, turtles, piano music, coke, hershey's chocolate and her Bible.
She also set up a memory jar for people to fill with memories. She also had a B for them to write one word that describes Brenna. Then, we had a table with tortilla chips and lots of different salsas. It was delicious!
Brenna decorated her hat with The Game of Life!
We are so thankful for many special people coming to share in Brenna's special day. She sure does love her cousins Kaylie and Kiara. So glad they could come!
So happy Denise (Grammy) could come too!
The room filled with so many family and friends. Thank you to all who came to share in our special day!
Sweet friends Cynthia and Liz,
And Tricia, too!
So thankful for our girl and so proud of her! We love you Brenna!
Tuesday, April 18, 2017
We love Easter! It's a blessed time as we reflect on what Jesus did for us! And there are so many tools to use to point my kiddos to the Savior and remind them of the resurrection. They look at this time as a celebration that our God is not dead! He is alive!
Happy Easter everyone!!