Do I truly believe my Heavenly Father knows best?
Do I truly believe His way is perfect?
Do I truly believe He has a master plan for me and loves me like no other?
Oh Yes! I believe that!
When my pain returned in February, our family was busily trying to reach our island for Christ. As I slowly got weaker and more unable to do my normal family duties, our whole routine was thrown into a whirlwind. When it became very apparent that I must come back to Florida for medical care, I had it in my head that when it would be time to return to St. Barths, I would have energy overflowing! I was going to be ready to tackle the world and be SuperMama. I was going to feel well. Well, it's time for me to once again trust that God knows best for me. I do not feel like my energy is overflowing, and tackling a load of laundry seems like it will be a mountain top.
After seeing two doctors here in Florida, we've discovered a couple of things going on with my body. My bloodwork is still showing some unusual things. I'm very deficient in a couple of areas. The doctor gave me a prescription that should fight these deficiencies. He believes that perhaps once we tackle these, then my body can recover and heal. For now, my chest pressure is still there. For some reason, my body is not responding to anti-inflammatory medications. It's puzzling for the doctors. As one doctor put it, "You're just not fitting any mold." The plan is to see how the new set of meds will help (along with a painkiller) and redo my bloodwork in 3 months. There is also a possibility that my body is developing a Connective Tissue Vascular Disease. But, there is nothing at the moment to do for that. So, after much prayer, it's time I return.
I'm so excited to be headed back to see my family. I'm arriving 2 days before my Callie's birthday. That's an answer to prayer! I can't miss my girls 3rd Birthday! I fly out this Friday to head back to St. Barths.
So for now, I'm reprogramming my mind. I may not be returning well, as I had pictured. But, I am returning. And through Christ I can be the Momma and Wife He wants me to be. Through this time of uncertainty, my God has been my refuge, my best friend. He's so good to me!
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.