I have had two of my other doctors want to put me on a long-term medication for my pain. If you've seen the commercial for this it is quite scary. The side effects take a whole lot longer to list than the good stuff the meds do. Quite scary! For now, Patrick and I feel it will be best for me not to take this medication. My doctor today is supportive of that decision and wants me to keep up with the regime I am doing that helps...somewhat, sometimes.
I still have another appointment the beginning of April with a new Specialist I have never seen before. My doctor thinks he might have some insight. Then, I will see my doctor at the end of April again.
When Patrick and the kids were talking last week they needed to know the date for something. It was one of those moments when reality hit me. It is March. The middle of March. When we began our Medical Furlough in August, I never ever thought we would still be looking for a diagnosis in March.
Blogs can be betraying. I know it's easy to read blogs and see all the good things, but I want you to know that through this trial I do have times of asking, "Why Lord?" I have times of feeling guilty, as if this were my fault. I have times of not having the right perspective. But, I am writing this to let you know that the Lord never fails me. Never. It's when I choose to take my eyes off of Him, and put them on my situation that I struggle. Last week was a time of discouragement for me. I don't have all the answers, but I know some things that helped me through that week, and things that will help me in the days to come.
~Don't forsake your time alone with the Lord. He's so ready to speak to you through His Word! I find that He has written so much just for me!! Now, I know that's not exactly true, but sometimes when I read, I feel the Lord saying, "This is for you Kami. Because I love you." Romans 8:35-39 were His "I love you" for me today.
~Cry out to God. God doesn't mind hearing you cry and blubber through your prayers. He wants to hear you and listens for you. Cry to Him. One of the verses I have on my bathroom mirror is 2Kings 20:5 "Thus saith the LORD, the God of David thy father, I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears: behold, I will heal thee." This is one of those verses I felt as if it were written for me. I know God is going to answer my prayer!
~Surround yourself with people who will encourage you. I have a wonderful support group. (I guess that's what you call them!) My husband. My kids. My family. My friends. God has been so good to give me people that will give encouragement. Don't shut yourself out from those who can help you.
So this is real life. Ups and Downs. But through it all Romans 8:28 rings so true,
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.