This morning I woke up with the sun slightly coming up and saw the light at Patrick's desk on. Why is he up so early on a Saturday? He was moving things on his desk. Did he really wake up early just to clean off his desk? I looked at him and said a sweet "Good Morning" He glanced at me and could barely talk. I knew something was wrong. He said, "I just keep thinking about Josh. I had a dream that was so real and we were dropping him off at the airport (a reality that will happen 9 days from now) and my heart was breaking. How are we going to do this? How are we going to let him go?"
We shared plenty of tears together this morning. We are so excited for our son. Really, we are! He is following God's plan for his life and it's going to be amazing! But, as Mom and Dad, it's hard to let go. It's hard to think of him leaving and not having him in our home on a daily basis. How can we get through this? How can I get through this as a Mom?
Then, I realized that the lessons the Lord has been teaching me for quite a while, apply here, too.
How am I going to get through?
~Gratitude. I heard a preacher once say that Gratitude produces Contentment. I wrote that down in my prayer journal to help me remember when I have that feeling of being discontent and just not satisfied. When this happens, I know my heart is not being thankful and taking the time to reflect on my blessings. Yes, I will cry when Josh leaves, and yes, I will miss him bunches. (and bunches and bunches) But, I don't want those feelings to make me discontent and constantly think about days-gone-by. Think of all the blessings God has given! Contentment will come, it works everytime!
~Grace for the day, the hour, the moment. I know God will help me get through this. He gave me this Mother's heart that doesn't want to let go! But, he will also supply me with the grace to go through this next journey in my life. I read a book a few weeks ago that talks about the sufficiency of God's grace. It's always exactly enough! But, it's always exactly when we need it. The Lord's grace will help me through this time.
"Blessed be the Lord, who daily loadeth us with benefits, even the God of our salvation." Psalm 68:19
"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9
So, we will get through. We will find a new normal for us. What a journey filled with blessings we are on! And I'm so thankful for my son!
Now, it's off to have a busy week with my family! We have so much planned! There will be plenty of packing, I am having a baking marathon and preparing all of his favorites, and just being together. I warned Josh that I will be glued to his side this week! Then, it's off to the airport....with California on the other side of a plane ride.