The past few weeks I have been making mental "to-do" lists for when I get well. These are things that were once "normal" to me, but lately haven't been really happening. I am a list maker/ goal oriented person, so this was getting exciting for me! Here's a few:
~Be a playful/active Mom. You know the kind I'm talking about....at the park she's not the one sitting and watching quietly (or maybe hollering from a distance), but she is the one challenging her little ones to try and go higher than her on the swings. She demonstrates how to do the monkey bars while giggling. She's making trains with her kids going down the slides. I want to be that Mom again.
~To not put on my jammies until 5 minutes before bed. Josh says he knows when I'm having a not so good day....my baby blue (slightly coffee stained) robe is on. I want to be dressed and ready for my day minus the robe.
~Make a couple of quilty projects a month....not work on one for a year. I look back at my blog and realize how I love to quilt! I love my time while Patrick is watching football or some other sport, my little ones tucked in bed, and I have my sewing machine right there in the middle. I want to sew again, and complete projects.
Well, as I was making my "to-do" list in my head, my devotion time changed my thinking. Let me explain:
I was reading in 2 Chronicles 13. Now, I know this passage isn't exactly talking about Kami Gimenez, it's talking about Abijah and the war he had with Jereboam. But, the principle is true, and I love to make it personal. If I personalize verse 12 it would say, "And behold, God himself is with Kami for her captain....O, Kami, fight ye not against the LORD God"
And then it hit me....I realized that I am dreaming of something God doesn't want for me right now. I am living in a "future if." Well, what about now? What about this moment? If I am not careful, I fight against what He has for me, for this moment in my life.
I love the end of the chapter in verse 18 (personalized again) "and Kami prevailed, because she relied upon the LORD." Prayerfully, one day I will be all the things above, but for now, I need to rest in God's will for my life, seek what His will is for me day by day. Rely on Him. What a comforting thought. God is so good to me!
We women can often live in guilt. We set our sights so high and then when we don't complete our goals, we feel like failures. The Lord is teaching me what it truly means to rely on him. It means He knows best! It might mean that our "to-do's" slightly change.
So for now, I'm going to rest in the fact that God is so good! And for those days I'm in my robe....maybe that son that has noticed will decide that maybe I need an aqua one instead! ;o)