A Place of Refuge for my Husband

Last week I posted on how God, in His goodness, set up cities of refuge.  This was a place that the wrongly-accused, or those that had committed a mistake without any malice in their heart, would be able to run to.  He knew that the world can be harsh.  Unforgiving.  Tough.  Assuming.  Just sometimes a hard place to be.

I likened it to our children needing that refuge from the world.  This tough world can be hard on them, and they desperately need a refuge!

But, do you know what? Our husbands desperately need that refuge to run to as well.   This world can be a tough place for them.  They often have difficulties that we haven't even considered. The moment they step foot out of our door there is a target on their back to fail. Godly men reflect Christ. The forces of evil don't want him to suceed and prosper and reflect the name of Jesus! I don't want that target on my husband while he is home either. 

So, how do I create a home that is a haven, a retreat, a refuge for him?  Of course the Bible is the place we find the answer to this question!  You can find the answer to this on so many pages!! So what I am going to share with you is not an exhaustive list, but it is a good starting place. Not just for you, but for me, too!  Just like with our children, you can find it in Deuteronomy 3:28.  God is continuing to give Moses instructions to pass down to the people.  He says,

"But charge Joshua, and encourage him, and strengthen him..."

 Encourage:  I have been challenged this past week to be a better cheerleader for my husband.  It's me that God has chosen to complete him. Patrick needs me!  And we do make a great team!!  This looks different on depending the day. Sometimes it means making sure the coffee is fresh and waiting for him when he wakes up.  Just like he likes it: plenty of cream and brown sugar.  It may mean pulling down the covers and tucking him in for a Sunday afternoon nap after he gave it his all in the pulpit.  On a day to day basis we have a thousand ways to encourage our man. But the key is to look for them.   It's crazy how our brain wants to default to the negative.  Just take a look at your prayer time.  We ask God to do, change, and make things go our way.  But have we stopped to just look at the good and thank God for it?  Tomorrow as you have your time with the Lord, stop and just tell God how good your husband is.  Write down every little thing from how he brushes his teeth, to the work he does, to the clothes that do make it to the hamper.  Be on the hunt for the good.  And then be ready to proclaim it:  to the Lord, to others (when is the last time your husband overheard you talking good about him to someone else?) and to him.  Have you told him lately that you like how his hair falls on his forehead?  Or how he provides so wonderfully.  Look for the good.  You will find it!  And then be ready to focus on it.  Let those good things mull around in that head of yours.  Refuse to let the negative take root.

Strengthen:  2 things come to my mind.  First, our prayers for our husband.  It's so important to pray for him!  We know our husbands better than anybody else.  We know their needs, cares, burdens and difficulties.  We ought to be praying for them. And be praying very specifically.   The second one is our words.  Believe it or not, your husband wants to please you.  He wants to be the strongest man alive for you.  He wants you to be proud of him.  Have you told him?  Have you told him that he is your everything?  Your world?  Strengthen him with your words.  Don't tear down.    

 My husband and I have often talked about how God commanded women to follow their husbands as we would the Lord.  He gave this command knowing our husbands aren't perfect.  In fact it doesn't say to submit only when they do. Or only when they are worthy.  Or only when they are right. It's also amazing that when we reverence, encourage, and love on our husbands the way the Bible commands,that it is pleasing unto the Lord.  That's my desire, to please the Lord.  Making our home a refuge for my children and my husband is one of the greatest ways I get to do that.

Seeking to please Him,

Kami