Thursday, June 14, 2012

Heart of the Matter~Studying Your Man

So, my focus word for this month is “study”… to have a heart that studies. This week I’m focusing on studying your husband.  Sounds like fun, doesn’t it?  Being the wife of Patrick, I should know him better than anyone! Proverbs 31 verse 10 and 11 says, “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.  She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.  That virtuous woman was pretty smart.  She knew her husband so well that she knew how to be the best completer for him.  She did good things for him, knew his likes and dislikes, and in return, he trusted her with his heart.  This is a task that does take some effort because being his help-meet and completer means that my number one ministry is helping him to be the man, father, preacher, teacher & worker that God wants him to be.  It means prioritizing my day to make sure that I am completing this ministry that God has given me and not just “existing” from day to day.

For example, My husband is a preacher.  His study space is at his tiny desk in our bedroom.  Since we live in a small, 2-bedroom home and have 6 busy kiddos in our house, things can get pretty loud.  It seems there is always someone wanting to show Daddy their Lego creation, or someone with a “very important only Daddy can answer” question, or a little two year-old girl needing to sit on Daddy’s lap and color on his notes.  To help him be the preacher that God wants him to be, it means me making sure his study time is quiet (or somewhat).   It is not easy but necessary.

I have a really fun assignment for you to help you to “study” your husband better.  I came up with a quiz to help me know my husband better.  Remind him beforehand that there are no wrong answers.  Tell him you want him to answer very truthfully so you can be the best wife you can for him!  I made it into a fun game like the Newly Wed Game and let the kids help ask the questions.  I gave my answer of what I thought he would say and then he gave the true answer.  Here are some of the questions I asked (feel free to add your own questions):
Crunchy or Creamy (Peanut Butter)
Which meal do you prefer to be your “main” meal of the day?

What is your favorite dessert?

IF you had to choose one for the day, would you choose a house that’s in order, or a wife that is made up for the day (dressed nice, make-up, hair done)?

Which do you feel is your Love Language? (Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service,  or Physical Touch)?

When do you prefer to have your quiet time?

Banana Split or Hot Fudge Sundae?

Which household chore in the home do you feel should be a priority? (The one that if it’s not done, it doesn’t matter how clean the house is, it will still be dirty to you?)

Short hair or long?

Polished nails or no?
Which do you find the most attractive?  Fixed Hair, Manicured Nails or Attractive Clothes?

What do you prefer to never have for breakfast?
Which meal do you wish we had more of for dinner?
Which meal do you wish we would see less often?

Do you prefer to have a cup of hot tea before bedtime or a cup of decaf coffee?
Which color do you like for me to wear the best?

Is there a particular outfit that you just don’t prefer for me to wear?

What is the way I can help you the most throughout your day?
We had a great time playing this “Game”.   I have to admit I did pretty good!  But, I really learned some things, too!  I didn’t realize that my husband really does prefer crunchy peanut butter over creamy  (He’s just never said anything because he knows the kiddos prefer creamy.  What a sweet Daddy!) and I didn’t know that he’s really getting sick of hot dogs!  I learned he finds manicured nails attractive (not my strong point).  It was good for me to look at how my husband wants some things and I think he enjoyed the attention, too.  From this short quiz, I learned a few things that I can change or alter along our day that will help him to feel loved and cherished…to help meet his desires.  I sure do like studying my man! 


  1. This was fun! I coerced (I mean asked) my husband to play along with me. I wrote down my answers, then asked him the questions. The only one I missed was the peanut butter. I thought he preferred crunchy (but I always bought creamy when the kids were home), but he prefers creamy with crunchy occasionally. Everything else were things I knew without having to think too hard. Of course, we've been married almost 28 years, so I do know him fairly well by now! ;)

  2. This was fun. BJ and I did it together too. I guessed wrong on the peanut butter too--he prefers crunchy. And I learned a few other things too about him. Thanks for this test. I sure enjoy your posts.

  3. I am going to do this with D. Preparing ahead to be a good wife. :o)